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Managing Anxiety and Depression after Child Loss

Losing a child is an utterly heart-wrenching ordeal for parents, with far-reaching consequences. The profound impact can manifest in various ways, such as grief, depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Furthermore, navigating the daily hurdles of life without our children becomes an immense challenge.

In the journey of finding a new normal after such an unimaginable loss, it is important to know that you are not alone and it’s okay to seek help.

This article aims to serve as a gentle guide, pointing out various routes that you may take in managing anxiety and depression that may arise or intensify after experiencing the loss of a child

We are not professional counselors or licensed threpasits, but parents who have experienced similar losses and are here to support eachother.  If you feel like you need to, please don’t feel ashamed to seek the help of a professional.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach. What matters most is finding what works for you, at your own pace, to help navigate this tumultuous sea of emotions.

Identify Triggers

Take some time to reflect on what sets off your anxious or depressed feelings and make a list of identified triggers. It could be certain places, events, or even thoughts. Once you have identified your triggers, plan ways to avoid them or manage their impact when they do occur.

Recognizing your triggers is the first step in managing them. Once identified, you can implement strategies to either avoid these triggers or reduce their impact when they occur.

  1. Create a Safe Space: Designate a place in your home as a sanctuary, where you can retreat when you’re feeling overwhelmed. This could be a room filled with comforting elements like soft lighting, calming music, or comforting scents.
  2. Mindfulness Techniques: Practice mindfulness techniques such as deep breathing or meditation. They can help you stay grounded in the present moment and may assist in managing anxiety-inducing thoughts.
  3. Use of Distraction: Engage in activities that capture your attention and bring you joy. It sounds like a simple step, but is difficult to employ. This can help divert your focus from anxiety-provoking triggers. Whether it’s reading a book, taking a walk, or spending time in your garden, find what resonates with you.

It’s important to remember that it’s okay if these strategies don’t always work. It’s a journey of trial and error, and what matters is you’re taking steps towards managing your triggers with patience and self-compassion.

Reach Out

Reach out to a friend or someone who has been through similar loss.

You are not alone. There are dozens of parents who share a similar loss at Ian’s Place, and hundreds of thousands of us across the country. Talking to someone who understands and can lend support is incredibly beneficial in managing anxiety and depression.

At Ian’s Place, we understand that the road to healing is personal and unique for each individual. That’s why we offer a range of support groups tailored to different needs:

  • We have a Grief Support Group where you can share and process your feelings in a safe space among others who are experiencing a similar journey.
  • For partners navigating this heart-wrenching loss together, our Couples Support Group strives to foster understanding and companionship.
  • If you prefer a more personal, one-on-one setting, our One on One Support is also available.
  • For those who find solace in faith, we offer Bible Study groups.
  • We also understand the excruciating pain of losing a young child. To respond to this, we provide specialized Group Grief Support for Loss of a Young Child, and One on One Support for Loss of a Young Child.

Remember, you are not alone. We are here to walk this journey with you, offering our support every step of the way.

Hobbies & Activities

Participate in a hobby or activity you love doing. Doing something you enjoy can provide a distraction from negative feelings, boost your physical health, and help with relaxation. It can also be an opportunity to connect with others who share similar interests, fostering a sense of community.

If you’re unsure where to start, think about hobbies or activities that brought you joy in the past or explore new ones.

  • Art Therapy is a great way to express your emotions creatively and has been shown to have therapeutic benefits.
  • Joining a Reading Club can provide a sense of belonging and open up opportunities for discussions and social connections.
  • Consider volunteering or joining a Support Group for another cause that’s meaningful to you.

Remember, there are no rules when it comes to finding what works best for you. It’s all about exploring different options and finding what brings you comfort and joy in the midst

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Exercise

Exercise regularly — even just for 10 minutes a day — to release endorphins that contribute to feeling better overall. Take a walk, go for a bike ride, or try yoga. Physical activity can help with managing anxiety and depression by improving mood and reducing stress levels.

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The Science Behind Why Exercise Helps

The True Biological Impact of Exercise on Anxiety and Depression

When grappling with the weight of anxiety and depression, it may feel like a mammoth task to even think about exercise. However, regular physical activity can have significant benefits due to its direct physical impact on our brain chemistry.

When we exercise, our bodies release a surge of chemicals known as endorphins. Often referred to as the body’s natural “feel-good” hormones, endorphins interact with the receptors in our brains that reduce pain perception. They also trigger a positive feeling in the body. This endorphin rush is why we often feel happier and more relaxed after physical activity.

Exercise also promotes the release of other neurotransmitters, like serotonin and norepinephrine, which help regulate our mood and sleep patterns. Low levels of these neurotransmitters are commonly found in individuals struggling with depression, making exercise a valuable tool in managing depressive symptoms.

Exercise can also reduce levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. By helping to lower these hormones, physical activity can help manage anxiety symptoms by inducing a natural state of calm.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be a high-intensity workout. Even gentle forms of exercise, like a walk in the park or a yoga session, can elicit these beneficial biological responses. It’s all about taking that first step and finding an activity that you enjoy and that suits your physical capabilities and comfort level.

Every journey begins with a single step, and every step you take is a step toward healing.


Remember to start slow and listen to your body. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take breaks when needed or modify the exercise to suit your needs.

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Mindfulness, Meditation, and the Power of Prayer

Mindfulness, meditation, and prayer can be anchors during the storm of grief, providing solace in the face of overwhelming pain. When faced with the loss of a child, your world changes irrevocably, and these practices can help you find a sense of calm amidst the chaos. Mindfulness encourages you to stay present, acknowledging your pain without judgment. It allows you to experience your grief fully, resisting the urge to suppress or avoid the emotions. By fully accepting your feelings, you can start to process them, fostering healing over time. Prayer can offer a comforting routine and a peaceful refuge. In the quiet moments of meditation or prayer, you can find a safe space to express your deepest feelings, fears, and hopes. These practices can also foster a sense of connection — to yourself, to others, and possibly to a higher power or the universe. They remind you that while your pain is deeply personal, you are not alone. There’s a shared human experience in grief and loss, and there can be solace in that connection.

Seek Help

Oftentimes, managing anxiety and depression may require professional assistance. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide valuable tools and support in navigating these difficult emotions – this is very difficult to manage on your own.

Studies have shown that a significant percentage of parents who lose children experience grief symptoms that are severe enough to warrant professional help. For example, one study* found that 41% of parents who lost a child to cancer were currently using mental health services, and 78% of parents had used services at some point since their loss.

If you are a parent who has experienced the heartbreaking loss of a child, it is of utmost importance to reach out for professional support if you are finding it difficult to navigate through your grief. There are various types of therapy that can provide valuable assistance, and a compassionate therapist can guide you in developing coping mechanisms and strategies to help you navigate through this painful journey of loss.

Find a therapist or doctor who you feel comfortable talking to about your mental health concerns so they can help you manage them more effectively.

Here are some of the signs that you may need immediate professional help:

  • Feeling overwhelmed by grief and sadness.
  • Difficulty sleeping or eating.
  • Trouble concentrating or making decisions.
  • Withdrawing from social activities and relationships.
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or others.

*”Parental Grief After Losing a Child to Cancer: Impact of Professional and Social Support on Long-Term Outcomes” by Jennifer V. Bray et al. (2006)

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Navigating Through The Fogand Journeying Onward

In conclusion, navigating the murky waters of grief after a child loss is a journey that is deeply personal and varies for everyone. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and it’s okay to seek help. Utilize the tools of exercise, mindfulness, meditation, and professional support as lifelines in your journey.

Keep reminding yourself that it’s okay to not be okay.

But with each day, each step forward, you are journeying towards a place of acceptance and peace.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey and at Ian’s Place, we’re here to offer support, empathy, and understanding. The fog of grief may seem perpetual, but with time and support, you’ll find pockets of light and moments of tranquility that will guide you through.

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